Eckhart Tolle retreat at Omega, October 2002
- Part 2Monday Afternoon –
Partial Transcript
(The following is based on personal notes and taping. Please do
not consider as verbatim or as a quotable source for Eckhart’s
teaching)
Oh yeah, we are going to check if its still Now. (pause laughter)
I think it is. That's a strange thing, of course the way we did it
now it's a little bit funny, but still one can almost say, this is
not quite right because its language but I'll say it, one can almost
say you could sense the Now. Be aware of it. Not as something, but
as presence, an aliveness. Not some thing. And so we have already
fallen into an error of creating a subject and an object when we say
‘you can become aware of the Now.’ And that’s what happens when one
speaks. Because that implies now that there's two things here,
there's you and that which you become aware of. But the truth is
what we call the Now is Awareness itself that knows itself, but
doesn't divide itself into two. And of course it cannot be separate
from who you are, you are that Awareness. That's the secret. That
frees you once you know it. Now knowing it, this is not a knowing
that is conceptual because then you would have a belief, "I am
Awareness" which could become a concept. But to know
directly...here...now.
So our practice is meeting the Now fully. We spoke of the
possibility of allowing what is, to be. And that means not imposing
interpretations on it. So let’s use where we are, the setting here,
the beauty that surrounds us. Let’s make it into part of our
awareness practice during these days. And see if we can meet nature
without imposing mental labels or interpretations on it. That means
we are working...( working, that’s not a good word one of these days
that word is going to disappear from the language, but not
yet)...working with our sense perceptions. This is a very important,
very helpful way of stepping out of the stream of thinking. A
little, I have recently started to call it, ‘exits.’ The prison of
your mind, the prison cell, the conditioned mind, that most people
identify with as themselves, as me, that prison cell has hidden
little exits. Easy to overlook. But it’s not really locked, they’re
open. And one such exit is, quite simply, sense perception. That to
perceive something fully, visual, auditory, takes you out of
conditioned thinking. Anybody who perceives beauty is, no matter how
briefly, able to step out of mind and perceive without
interpretations or labeling, if only for one second. But more than
that, if you’re very alert…now most people don't know this because
all they know is whatever they perceive is immediately interpreted
through the conditioned thought processes. It’s compared to
something else, you find some personal relationship to it, it
reminds you of that, or you simply put a label on it and then you
think you now what it is and you inhabit a flat universe. It lacks
depth because the mental labels obscure to you the depth that there
is and the aliveness and the sacredness that there is in every
living thing. And ‘living thing’ includes what the mind calls dead
things. Living things includes everything because everything is
alive, even the stone. If you looked into the stone you could see
that there's an intense aliveness there. Physicists have done it in
their way. They know that the stone is an alive energy field and
matter itself is alive. It looks to us as impenetrable, solid, and
dead but its not. So no matter whether we conventionally call it a
living thing, realize that whatever you perceive is alive. But let’s
speak specifically here about nature, plant life, and animal life,
of course mineral is also very beautiful. So usually you perceive
through the screen of conceptualization and that is a deep-seated
habit that we inherit, a collective mental habit. Perhaps until
recently there was not much chance of getting out of it. But now the
possibility is there. Stepping out of that deep seated collective
conditioning. And see that it is possible to meet perceptions in the
field of simple awareness.
In many of you, if you are alert, you can observe an interesting
phenomenon. When you first perceive something, it could be a visual
perception, it could be an auditory perception, suddenly you hear a
bird singing, or visually you turn this way and suddenly you see a
tree in the most amazing colors. And if you are alert you can catch
that first moment of perception, auditory, visual, a new something
arises in the field of perception. And there's a little space,
always, when something new enters your field of perception, in which
the labeling has not started yet. That is really the moment of true
perception. And that moment is a moment of inner stillness where
thought processes don't operate. There’s is a gap, and then thought
processes usually come in. That gap is missed by most people and to
the mind it is not significant because to the mind all that is
significant is their thoughts. If you can't think any thoughts about
something it is insignificant to the thinking mind. And so probably,
not probably, I am certain, that there are many people in this room,
not only who in the first moment of perception…almost everybody does
that the first moment of perception there is the freedom from
labeling but it's not recognized… but there are may of you here who
already find in their everyday life that there are moments of more
prolonged non-labeling of perceptions. And that is quite amazing.
That is an incredible shift in consciousness, from the labeling mind
to the free unconditioned spaciousness in which that arises.
I suggest that here is a practice, to be alert especially to that
first moment. And if you recognize that there is a moment when you
first perceive something, a leaf, a stone, a tree, a bird, or the
totality - a field, a grove of trees. And if you bring awareness to
that, then that awareness itself will be there for longer. If you
are aware of that space of awareness that is there the moment you
first perceive something, then the sense perception happens within a
field of stillness. That is you bring the stillness into the sense
perception, it’s perceived against the background of stillness. And
then perhaps at some point the labeling mind may come in if only to
say ‘Oh, you see, there’s the stillness.’ It’s possible. So that is
a practice especially these days that you’re here. Interact with
nature in that way. Then of course everything really comes to life,
becomes alive.
However, there’s something in you that doesn’t want to do that.
Because there's the fear that you might be losing something
important. And that fear is a fear of the mind which says “I won’t
know anymore.” The mind says “I won’t even know what this is.” The
strange thing is all the mind knows is one particular kind of
knowing that is through conceptualization, through labeling. There
is a deeper knowing in which you know without the limitations of
concepts. But that knowing is to the mind, looks like not knowing
anything anymore. And really that is a state in which a greater
intelligence operates, perceives through you. To the mind it’s like
you’ve lost something. Of course you haven’t lost anything, the
labels you know them when you need them. They are still there. You
can get them out of the filing cabinet, or whatever analogy we can
use in computer language. I don’t know that. Retrieve it from the
data banks. Oh that’s what it is. When it’s needed the label is
there. A lot of the time it’s not only not needed, it limits you
tremendously to be trapped in the world of labels. The
conceptualized universe, when you only know concepts, thoughts,
labels, you inhabit a conceptualized universe. Everything is
immediately made into concepts. Some people are so good at it!
Unfortunately in our culture the better you are at it, the more
intelligent they think you are. If you can manipulate concepts and
so you can get your PhD in that way. There’s nothing wrong with
Ph.D.s if you’re not trapped there. And that conceptualized
existence is not only something you do to nature, you do it to
people, and to yourself. You conceptualize your own life, into a
series of thought forms and call it me. And then you do it to
others. Conceptualize who people are. And some people are very good
at that too. The moment they meet somebody, they just look at you to
find out what makes you tick and then after two or three minutes
they have it. Now sometimes that thing of just working out what this
person is all about, some people are actually very good at it, but
all they can ever find out is the conditioned mind of that person.
And on that level they may even be right. On the level of the egoic
conditioned mind what they say might be, I’m sometimes surprised
people come to me and say, “What did you think of this person?”
Oh…don’t know. And then they say “well let me tell you about him.”
This is how it is, this is what he really wants, he’s doing this to
manipulate you to do this and that.” Maybe they are right. But
another thing that they do, then they don’t see that as being the
level of conditioning and from then on whenever they relate to that
person, they relate through the screen of their interpretation,
which of course no matter who you are dealing with, it is extremely
narrow and limited. It is not the reality of that human being. It
may be an aspect of the conditioning that is operating there
pretending to be somebody but is not, cannot touch the reality of
that human being. Every human being carries all possibilities within
including Buddhahood, Christhood, and every saint.
And it has happened that the greatest criminal turned into a saint.
When the conditioned entity broke down, through intense suffering it
can happen. Fortunately not to you because you are here, if you were
not here, it would happen through intense suffering. (laughter) That
is the grace that is there through suffering, it erodes [the self
that create it]! Suffering is created you could say by this mind
made entity, to a large extent people create their own suffering,
humanity creates its own suffering. And yet there is built into this
egoic madness the element of grace. And that is the very suffering
that is created by that limited exclusively personalized sense of
self, destroys in the end that sense of self. It erodes it. And so
sometimes you find in people who have suffered a lot, physically or
in other ways, they become very simple, a childlike state, not
childish, childlike. That is the state of great openness, clarity,
that is the state of being free of mind where a deeper intelligence
operates. And it happened to them through suffering. And some of
you, suffering brought you here and the rest happens here. So that
gets eroded, during this week it gets eroded in a more pleasant way
here. Although some of you may be suffering as you sit here. ‘I
can’t stand anymore of this!’ And you project yourself away from
here, seeing yourself in the car driving home. And if you do jump in
the car, and drive home, in the middle of the retreat, then just
before you get home, you will think that you have failed miserably,
you’ve left the retreat and now it’s all gone. It’s always the
other, the other. Where you’re not is always where you should be, of
course.
So what we called this morning, and it seemed at first a very
passive thing when this morning we said; when you allow what is to
be, the ‘isness’ of this moment, then something reveals itself to
you that is beyond the form that this moment takes. And the form may
appear limiting. The formless life, consciousness, is known through
not reacting to the forms that appear. Where do they appear? In the
field of Now.
If you react to the forms in the field of Now, your own form,
psychological form of ‘me’, gets strengthened. That’s why the ‘me’
likes reacting, it strengthens that ‘I.’ You can observe it in other
people and in yourself. When you react against something, perhaps
wanting to be right, you can see how, on one level, satisfying it
is. While it’s satisfying, in reality of course it’s painful it is a
form of pain. The body knows that because the energy cannot flow
anymore. The energy field of the body stagnates. The body knows it’s
painful but the egoic entity thinks it’s great, because you've
enhanced your sense of self. The enemy is there. It's feels great.
And some people even say it feels great after shouting at somebody.
‘Oh that feels better.’ So observe that, you allow it and that takes
you beyond form. Your sense of self is no longer in form. It is
deeper than any form.
So the easiest practice, and that is why we start here, is as you
meet nature; --- nature exists beyond mind, nature is pre-mind, one
could say. It exists in a much greater state of oneness with its
source than humans. Humans have gone out of that much further.
Nature is more deeply connected to the source; animals, plants. So
to enter the state of what is ultimately a state of no-thought, I
wasn't going to say it so soon in the retreat, not to frighten
anybody, the state of no-thought. --- It is helpful to meet any
natural phenomenon, a plant, an animal, that lives in that state of
no thought. They also are expressions of consciousness but they
don't inhabit a conceptualized universe. The dog does not have a
self-concept or a problematic sense of self. A cat doesn't or
anything that lives, a bird. The bird simply hasn't separated itself
and says "that's me." It doesn't derive its sense of identity from
conceptualization in the mind. It hasn't created that split. It just
is. An expression of the One in form. Limited through its form, yes,
but a beautiful expression of that. So it is often a great
meditation if you can watch a tree, a flower, a dog or a bird. It
does not stimulate thought because it operates beyond thought,
conscious yes but not through conceptualization.
Now we are not returning to that state. This is not where we are
going because that would be a falling back. It would free you from
allot of suffering, yes. And some people seek to return, they can't
stand their mind anymore, they cannot stand the painful sense of
self, that burden that I have to live with, me, ‘living with me
everyday is dreadful. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.’ I'm
just giving an example. So many people perceive life as a burden, a
great burden, and every morning you wake up and you find yourself.
Now you may think what you find is the problems in your life but
really is the heaviness of the sense of self that looks out there
for some kind of liberation or freedom and is not getting it. All
you ever encounter is some other limitation, little brief moments of
apparent freedom which turn out to be illusions. So that is the self
that has heaviness to it.
An animal doesn't carry that burden. It is limited to its form, yes,
but it lives in alignment, greater alignment than humans. And so its
existence is not problematic. And it dies with great ease compared
to humans. And in some cases human beings are kept sane by their
animal. For some people they have a dog or a cat and it’s the one
thing that keeps them, it’s their anchor to a dimension beyond
conceptualizing mind. They have this anchor there. So animals that
humans keep fulfill an incredible function, an anchor of sanity. And
you can see with some animals how unhappy the master is, the owner
is of the animal, and how carefree the dog is. Even after having
lived for 5 years with this person. The dog is still joyful,
greeting every moment in joy. And so I saw a little sticker recently
to put on the fridge which said ‘God please let me be who my dog
thinks I am.’ Now of course, the truth is that the dog doesn't
think. That's why he is in joy. And that's why the dog relates to
you, he doesn't relate to the conceptualized you. He relates to the
you that’s hiding behind the conceptualized me, with its problems.
Amazing. In everyone of course that dimension is there. The
unconditioned, pure, consciousness, and its wanting to emerge.
That's one way of putting it. It wants to emerge. It wants to flower
through humans. And that's why we are here.
So although you may have tried to escape from the prison of your
conditioned mind by going into drugs, or seeking some kind of
escape, wanting to get out of the mind, drinking sometimes helps a
little bit. Not for long but...You are then taken into
unconsciousness. Moving out of your mind, yes it feels liberating,
yes, but you are moving towards sleep. And sometimes it’s nice when
you get very tired, you can't think about your problems anymore. And
then there's a moment before you reach sleep when you feel quite
good. And then you go to sleep. But we are not leaving mind by going
that way. We are stepping beyond mind and with that comes an
alertness. Freedom from thinking, yes, but at the same time there is
wakefulness and alertness. Not moving towards unconsciousness. But
nature is very helpful because it teaches you to live in no-mind. So
in a way you meet, there is a deeper empathy with nature, when you
don't impose on it the stream of conceptualization. There’s a very
deep meeting that takes place when you perceive nature in that way.
And this is an ideal place, surrounded by all this beauty,
perceiving in that way and it is a significant event, cosmic, going
far beyond the personal, when you perceive nature in the state of
not-labeling, in the state of still awareness. Nature itself finds
its fulfillment at that moment, through you because you are not
separate. Within the Oneness, nature sees itself through you. It
loves that. Its own sacredness! The tree, the flower, they become
aware of themselves. This sounds a little mystical, that’s how it
is.
So the essence here, we begin with nature because nature is so
helpful, just be aware for a little while when you first see
something, bring some alertness into when you walk around here. Be
there as a field of alert presence and see that is quite possible to
step out of the habitual labeling mind. For how long doesn't matter
really. More important is how often you step out of the labeling
mind. The rest looks after itself. Once that movement has started,
and this is miraculous, the current of awareness that has begun to
come though what before was a heavy layer of conditioned mind-stuff,
once this current of awareness has begun to move through you, it has
it has an intelligence of its own. It is pure intelligence. And that
then operates, it has become free and you don't have to be concerned
very much, it flowers by itself.
So sense perception is extremely important here. It is one way in
which you can leave the prison of the conditioned mind. And then you
may notice when you perceive in such a way there’s a form that you
perceive, whatever it may be, and one could say there is a stillness
in which the perception happens. That's the field of awareness. At
first this is not something you can know as an object, because it’s
the very essence of all knowing. You cannot know that as an object
of knowledge. You can only be it. You are it. And even here, sitting
here, you can sit here and think about your ‘story’, or the next
moment or the last moment, where you are going to be, or you can be
here as a field of aware Presence.
And the goodness that we spoke of that you find when you allow this
moment to be as it is…because this is allowing this moment to be as
it is, not imposing an interpretation. And if an interpretation
comes, recognize it as mind, an interpretation. Not totally believe
in it. Not totally being absorbed by it, just see it! There's the
conditioned mind which comes up with its -whatever it says, then you
go back to the perception itself….So the goodness that is hiding
underneath, no matter what form this moment takes, is an aspect of
that unconditioned dimension in yourself. And that [goodness] then
emerges through you. It might have seemed that, when I said it at
first, it was a very passive state to say you can notice there is a
goodness underneath the appearance of this moment that is
inseparable from the state of pure awareness, presence, whatever you
want to call it, space-consciousness, it emerges from there. And
everybody, even very unconscious human beings, unconscious means
totally identified with conditioned mind, even very unconscious
human beings, sometimes very obscurely sense that there is something
in them that is greater, that there is a goodness that they cannot
quite access. It doesn't seem to operate when they operate in their
everyday life. It may break through occasionally, accidentally
almost. Sometimes in moments of great danger, when they are
threatened by death it could break through, when the conditioned
mind subsides because it can't cope anymore with the urgency of this
moment. So almost everybody senses that in some obscure way they
know that there is something in them that is greater then what they
manifest as their everyday existence, that may be pitiful. What they
manifest in their everyday life may not be great, it may be allot of
wanting and needing, and me against you. On a small level, whether
it’s on a little level or whether you become the CEO, CEO is
becoming a dirty word these days, but there's no difference you see
it’s just on a bigger scale, a bigger egoic scale that's all. That's
why it’s more noticeable. The greed of the ego, the greed, the need
for more. So that then, what many people obscurely sense within,
emerges, is an aspect of the unconditioned, love, joy, compassion.
(tape 2.2 ) This compassion, it dwells there in that dimension so
then that also begins to operate through you in your interactions
with the world in the unconditioned. So this is why at first sight
seems so insignificant when I say "Go to Nature. Look at the tree
and be completely there in the looking. Allow the perception to
arise in a field of stillness." Well, okay, I've done that now. What
do I do now? Next thing. To the mind it seems insignificant and yet
nothing is of greater significance than that because its through
that the unconditioned emerges and then those qualities that are an
inseparable part of that dimension flow out into this world. You
begin interacting with Nature because Nature helps you. The next
level up then is interacting with human beings that you know
superficially. People you've just met. People that you come into
contact with casually. People perhaps on the retreat that you meet
and we'll be addressing that in more detail also. To bring that
non-labeling awareness into your interactions with other human
beings. Then an enormous change happens on the planet when more
humans interact in the way which you don't impose conceptualization
on other humans. We'll be addressing that more. Nature is easier,
humans are more difficult. So you begin with nature and nature will
continue to be extremely helpful in this. And that in itself benefit
is incredible the way in which that deepens your life, the way in
which you interact with nature. The depth that is there when you
allow the mystery that is every living being, to be there. Yes you
still know the label if you should still need it, but the mystery
that is there that is covered up by the label that says tree, the
depth that is there, just inconceivable. And the aliveness that is
there, that some people have glimpsed when they took "acid" (LSD)
that was perhaps the first time they glimpsed something that's
beyond conceptualized mind and the teapot suddenly became intensely
alive. It wasn't a teapot anymore. But then you've come back again,
this is not the way so...this is much better than acid. But for some
people it's been a little glimpse of stepping out of the prison of
conceptualized thought into an intense aliveness. So the mystery
that is there, how absurd to think that you know the moment you have
put a label onto something. And children become conditioned at an
early age in that way when they learn language. And the human mind
wants that in the child because the human mind says "What's that?"
And then the father or mother says, "That's a tree." And then the
child repeats, "Tree, tree." And the illusion that the child then
now knows what it is. It's already started. Next time, the next day
the child sees a tree, before the child was looking, that was
premind and that you find in very young children when you see them,
mind hasn't started yet and yet consciousness is already there of
their surroundings. And they look, they're all little Buddhas. And
then they look at you, and that also some humans are drawn to little
children as they are drawn to animals, because they feel they are
not being judged. They know that the dog or the little child, the
premind child is not imposing a label on them. They find freedom
there so they are drawn whenever they see a little child they go
there, Ahhhh!!! Yes, it's beautiful and then a moment comes in the
child’s life when the conceptualizing mind wants to start. And the
questions start, "What is that?" It's demanding labels. So one day
the child is looking at the tree in openness and wonder. That is
still the state of oneness. And the next day it has learned the word
'tree.' And then it looks at the tree and there's still a moment,
the gap is still there that I mentioned, and then it remembers the
label tree. "Oh, tree, tree!" Yeah, that's right, that's what it is.
Now let's go on to the next thing. Many humans from that moment
onwards they don't really look at the tree anymore because they
think they know what it is. And this is just one tiny example, of
then thousands of concepts and then being imprisoned in that and
then having concepts about me. That's who you are. So going beyond
all that is liberation, the ancient word that's been used for
thousands of years. Free. Free from what? Free from the conditioned
mind. So Nature, that in itself is an enormous shift when you can go
into Nature and interact in that way and yes you look upon
everything, that is love. Anything that is not labeled as you
perceive it is looked upon with love. Not the love that the mind
talks about which says "come here, I need you. I love you because I
need you. I won't let you go. You're mine!" or "I love this flower
so much that I'm going to take it home with me." It's not that kind
of love. Very wisely in the Spanish language the expression, "I love
you" is the same as the expression, "I want you" because that is the
usual way in which what is called love by the mind. But the true
love emerges whenever there's the absence of conceptualization, of
labeling. And that is why the dog loves you continuously. And that
is why the little child, no matter who the child looks upon, there
is that openness. It doesn't judge a person as ugly, the openness is
there. The label isn't there yet. So Nature is an access point, it
is an opening for that. But also including inanimate Nature. Let's
call it inanimate Nature. There is the beautiful realm of minerals.
Wonderful. The Earth itself. The stones, the aliveness that is
there. And even man-made, human made things have an aliveness.
Especially if there is still some closeness to Nature like things
made of wood. Natural materials. But even synthetic things, yes they
too are alive. A little bit more removed from the source perhaps.
But yes but also a temporary expression of consciousness. So you can
sit in your room, perhaps let's say the room where you're staying
here and just briefly sit and be there, look around, perceive your
surroundings, without needing to label, innocent perception you
could call it, not wanting anything from someone, not comparing,
letting it be. Don't go on for too long because from that state of
having gone beyond mind as this is something new for most humans, it
is possible to go from that state of having gone beyond mind into a
state of alertness and suddenly you fall below mind into sleep.
Until that becomes a more habitual state in you, that can happen. So
that's fine too. Beautifully expressed, there was a film about golf
playing, "The Legend of Bagger Vance" where somebody is learning or
relearning to play golf and his teacher is showing him how to be
present. How to step out of mind. In one line the teacher says,
"He's now learning how to stop thinking without falling asleep."
Because only then can he play well. And every sportsman who does
well knows that, that state is the state of freedom from thinking.
Of absolute alertness, clarity...relaxed alertness and clarity. And
so a few people, we mentioned artists earlier, some sportsman have
access to that in their field of activity and here it is emerging as
your normal state of consciousness. It's becoming your normal state
of consciousness. Thought is still there, yes, will continue to be
there for quite awhile, quite awhile. As long as you are here in the
body, thought will also still be here. And yet there's a freedom.
Thought moves, it is no longer problematic, it is no longer invested
with self. You are not seeking yourself in thought-forms, anymore.
That's the liberation. And though is recognized as thought. You
don't, you're not totally trapped in every thought that comes. So
all that is the shift in consciousness that this gathering is part
of. Transitional period is when thought loses its capacity to make
you unhappy. But it still operates but you don't believe totally in
the judgments of your mind anymore, about yourself, about your
life, what it tells you about your life, how you have failed, been
treated unfairly by life. Whatever the story may be. It's the old
conditioned thought-forms. And your sense of self does not reside
there anymore. So use the access, the exit, the little exit door
that is Nature. Bring that alertness to your perceptions. And if
thoughts come occasionally, let them come and go without fighting
it. There's no point in fighting thought with more thought. Allow
the thoughts to come. It might even be a nice thought. You look at
the flower in the spaciousness of presence and then the thought
comes, "Isn't that beautiful." That's nice. And then the thought
subsides and there's more spacious presence. And then some other
thought comes. That's fine. And as you sit here, listen to these
words as if they were coming from within you because they are. They
are not somebody else's words, the truth is coming through,
consciousness speaks, that's all. It doesn't matter through which
form it speaks. Consciousness speaks, is pointing the way back to
itself. So here too we just simply sit here, being present, alert,
awake. That is the essence of all meditation but it's no longer a
separate activity. It's Now, every moment. (pause) Once I had a
group, we were addressing just this and somebody put her hand up and
said, "When do we start meditating?" This is the meditation. (pause)
And you are learning once the momentum of mind has taken you over
again and that will happen. It's been there for so long, it has a
momentum still. The mind will come back. It could come back even as
you are sitting here in which case you will no longer be here.
You'll be gone. And you notice that you are not seeing anymore, you
are not perceiving anymore what's around you. Only just enough not
to bump into things. But you can watch a person whose attention is
totally drawn into thinking. There is very little outflow through
eyes. There is an absence in the eyes. I can demonstrate it perhaps.
(he demonstrates, laughter) Nobody there. Not here. So your
consciousness is being absorbed by thought processes. All goes in
here. And then not long after that happens to you and it probably
will at some point and then suddenly you become aware that, once
this has started, it won't be very long before some form of
suffering will appear. And then those thought processes will go more
dense. And then the emotions you will feel that accompany those
thoughts. And then you might go to your partner and you say, "You
know I've been thinking..." (laughter) More often than not whenever
anybody comes to you and says, "You know I've been thinking...," you
know here comes trouble. And so that may happen to you and then you
will notice some form of suffering arising and some form of
suffering arises and that's a little signal that says, "You must
have lost the Now." "Where's the Now?" Now? And that entity, one
could call it, that is now there, temporary little...of course
everything is lifeform. Every thought is a lifeform. And a
conglomeration of thoughts pretending to be a personal me is a
temporary one could say lifeform. A temporary formation and the
temporary formation wants to continue in existence as that
formation. Like every lifeform wants to remain as that lifeform. It
resists metamorphosis. And I'm sure if we could know the inner life
of the caterpillar, the caterpillar too would resist it's
metamorphosis into a butterfly until the last moment. "No, I'm not
becoming a butterfly!" There is a certain inertia in every form. You
can see it sometimes in children or sometimes adults, you're tired
but you don't want to go to bed because there's an inertia in the
state of being awake. You want to remain, you're not really awake
anymore. And then when you are in bed, you don't want to get out of
bed. There's an inertia in that state. With children you have it
very often. There's an inertia in every form. So the thought-forms
want to remain as those thought-forms. They will resist anything
that would bring about a shift in consciousness. So there is
something in you and its fine, that doesn't want to be free. That's
a strange realization. There is something in me that does not want
to be free. And you might think that's a personal fault of mine, no.
There's nothing personal in that. That pretends to be a personal
entity or personal matter. That in me wants to be taken seriously
and be somebody, me! But it is not a personal matter at all. It is a
universal mind-pattern. That principle of inertia is in you and it
will find many reasons and excuses why you cannot be present now and
why this moment is not important at all. Because I have far more
important things to think about. It can give you many convincing
arguments why it's not going to work for you. You might as well
forget it. It's all nonsense anyway. All that nonsense about change
in consciousness. This is real. Your problems are real. The falling
shares are real. Your financial situation, that's real. So it'll
come up, it will tell you what is real, what matters because it
doesn't want to go and it comes up with things that you need to
think about now. At night especially. Very important. There's
nothing you can do. You 're lying there but. And so what
conventionally is called worry, which simply means uncontrolled
negative thought processes that are projecting themselves into
future if that's what worry is. I'm sure it's not the dictionary
definition but totally identified with mind-movement, creating
situations and problems that are not here now. What could happen,
might happen, probably would happen. And so at night those things
can start up very strongly. And so the possibility of you noticing
that so that the other dimension can come in is greater now,
especially after having endured or enjoyed our retreat here. Even if
you think and you probably will think because the thinker doesn't
know what's going on here, even if you think that nothing is
happening here, sitting here is quite enough for something to shift
inside you. And the thinker, even if the thinker says, "No, it's not
happening. Nothing is going on." So to recognize the mind, to
recognize the momentum behind it and the inertia that is there, it
doesn't want to stop worrying. The worrying entity, the thinker, do
you think the thinker wants to stop thinking? Or do you think the
worrier want to stop worrying? It's whole existence is worrying.
Well, conventionally you all know this because we all know people
who you ask, "Who would they be if they couldn't worry about
something." But that is a pattern, more strongly developed in
others, in some than in others, that is in everyone. So the thinker
does not want the end of thinking, the worrier which is the thinker
intensified, doesn't want the end of worrying. Worry has a momentum
too. Particularly if the pattern of worry gets connected to the
latent pain, emotional pain that humans carry in here and that's
what the thinker likes to do, the thinking entity, the self to keep
itself going, it links into what I sometimes call the pain body, the
accumulation of pain from the past that humans carry. The residue,
goes back a long way. It's collective, to a large extent, collective
human pain inherited from thousands of years of madness, hundreds of
thousands of years of suffering inflicted by humans on themselves
and on each other. And your personal life too. Every child suffers
coming into this world through the unconsciousness around them and
so you carry that inside, and the worrier and the thinker and the
mind-made self, to gain more momentum will link into that energy
field of emotion, the old emotion of pain and that will energize
those mind-movements and that is what keeps the self-entity going
again and again very strongly. The old pain that gives energy to
thought processes and you think you're worrying about certain things
in your life but really you're acting out hundred thousand years of
human pain. The mind finds some kind of explanation. It's made into
something personal. Me. To bring presence into that will be
addressing in more detail the pain-body also but just here to see
that when it happens and once this movement has started, something
is operating in you, an energy field, almost one could say a
temporary entity that does not want an end to the pain. It does not
want an end to the worry. It wants to carry on worrying. You can
find that out for yourself if at that moment somebody pointed out to
you the possibility of stepping out of that, which is there, the
possibility of recognizing that pattern and stepping out of it. If
you are totally identified with the pattern, you will deny that
possibility because you are not speaking, the pattern is speaking.
The conditioned entity is speaking. You will say, "This is absolute
nonsense!" Whatever argument it comes up with, let's say 'there's no
such thing as present moment. I'm not interested in present moment.
Leave me alone with that nonsense of present moment. This is what
matters. And this, and this. This is how it is. That's what's going
to happen.' So to compensate one could almost say for that enormous
momentum, we could say the movement of unconsciousness in humanity
which is not a personal problem, not anybody’s personal problem, but
that undeniably very still, very powerful movement of
unconsciousness that is in humanity. Even after this retreat you may
not be totally free of that. May! And so what is needed and yes it
is happening, the arising of that which is beyond that needs to be
more powerful then that. Not that it is fighting anything. It's not
fighting that. In it's vastness it contains that and then dissolves
it but the arising of presence needs to be intense otherwise you
will be totally drawn in again and again into the old movement of
unconsciousness. Now the question is can you make that happen, can
you make the arising of the unconditioned presence, can you make it
more intense or is it something that just happens by itself? And the
answer is not clear-cut. It is yes and no. Can you make it happen?
Yes and no. From one perspective, yes. You can as I sometimes call
it, you can take up the sword of presence that says only this is
real, only this moment is real. And what is the problem at this
moment? That cuts through the problem-making conditioned mind which
needs past and future to continue to manufacture its problematic
sense of self. To cut through, to access in yourself presence that
cuts through all that. It says, 'Okay.' Stepping out of mind by
choice into the aliveness and freedom of this moment. You can do
that, one could say. You can do what the Zen Master described as the
essence of Zen when he raised, he would only ever do one thing when
he was asked 'What is the essence of Zen?' This. (raised index
finger) Intense presence. He never said that. Alertness. Presence.
Be here fully. And that is something you can do. You can choose
presence. Now nothing that I say or anybody says is totally true.
And even that statement is not totally true. (laughter) Reality is
far deeper than could ever be contained in any one statement. You
can choose presence because presence is already arising in you and
through you. And that can give you the feeling that, yes, I can
choose presence. And that's good. I wouldn't say that to anybody
because it might not be true for them. If not enough presence is
arising you can't choose presence. So let's, why not instead of
trying to somehow resolve the paradox of the seemingly contradictory
statements, why not allow the seemingly contradictory statements to
be there because they point beyond themselves to a greater truth.
The mind says, 'No, let's work this out. Yes or no.' And it would
even fight, if it has chosen the yes, it will fight against the no.
And that is a wonderful thing because and we can do that now, an
example of allowing mental positions to be there. And allowing
different mental positions to coexist also without believing that
one position encapsulates the entire truth. Now the mind will tell
you, will I not become totally paralyzed because I won't know what
to do anymore. If I do not subscribe to one way of looking at
things, what is going to be the motivating factor. The motivating
factor will no longer be thought. The intelligence of the
unconditioned consciousness will motivate you, things will happen,
it will move through you, an action will happen when it's needed.
But not through adopting and defending a mental position. Because
defending my mental position, whatever it may be implies you're
fighting other mental positions. And an extreme manifestation of
that is the terrorist, for example. Or whatever else. It's totally
being trapped in a conceptualized sense of us or self and totally
making conceptualized identity for others so that they are not alive
anymore. Other humans are mental concepts. As such just totally fine
to kill them because they are no more than dead mental concepts.
Whatever label you put on to them you have already killed them with
labels. Whether or not you then kill them physically, it almost
doesn't matter anymore. You've done it already, almost. So being
trapped in conceptualization, (pause) the movement of
unconsciousness is still in you, yes. The choice is there now. For
the choice to be there you need to recognize that you've been
trapped in mind. That you're trapped in mind. And a good sign is
suffering in your life. Any kind of suffering. You've lost the Now.
Reenter the Now. One way is sense perceptions. To truly in the way
that we described, truly perceive with acute awareness. Another one
is allowing this moment to be as it is. It's a little exit, too. And
a beautiful one is the inner body, feeling the aliveness of your
inner energy field. It takes attention away from thinking. That's
another exit out of the prison of mind. That maybe particularly
helpful when the worry pattern starts, if that's the pattern. Worry
is a form of fear. At night, for example. All that is needed is
notice that its been happening to you. That requires already a
minimum of awareness. If you don't have that you have no choice
because you are totally the worrier. Worry, W.O. and the other one
too. (warrior) You are totally the worrier and you have no choice.
So the fact that there is choice, if there's at least a minimum of
awareness even in the midst of unconsciousness, being taken over by
the momentum of the mind, is still the minimum of awareness that
knows that you're being taken over by the mind. And at that moment
choice comes in, but that is not up to you but by the grace of the
divine that that minimum of awareness is there in you. And there,
the choice is there, and again it's only a perspective. To step out.
And the worrier will say, "No, I can't. No point.' That's another
thought. Should you totally believe in that thought? No. It's a
thought that says, 'You can't possibly get out of it and you really
need to think about this.' And then you do it anyway. That mind is
very clever with arguments and trying to convince you, 'Why not?'
And then you do it anyway. You can't feel the inner body now, what's
the point in trying to feel the inner body with what's going on in
here. There's no point in even trying.' And then you do it anyway.
And then you sense there's an aliveness in your hands and your feet
and the rest of the body. Who says you can't feel your body. That
was just a thought. And then attention moves there and it is quite
possible within a minute or two you can shift from the worrying
entity to feeling intensely alive and present in your entire energy
field. And that means the inner body becomes an anchor for staying
present. It's your anchor. And then you will notice the pull of the
mind, of wanting your attention back and it will then come up with
some other thought. 'Just think about this.' And then it pulls you
attention half out again and for a moment you back in that, and then
you notice it again, you're back in the body. And then you have to
walk on the razor's edge of Now for the rest of lying awake that
night. Because if you leave the Now, you suffer. And another thought
comes, leave the Now, and then you're back. That is beautiful
practice. (Silence) Most of you probably drive cars, now that's a
wonderful field of practice to drive your car in presence. You are
less likely to have an accident, also. Mostly when you drive your
car you are thinking about something else. You are not thinking
about the driving or should you be because you wouldn't be driving
very well if you were thinking about it, so it's automatic.
Something else is driving. But why not just be still while you
drive? And perceive everything? Very aware. (tape3.1) The act of
driving. So its regarded as normal. They personalize going from A to
B behind the wheel of a car, it becomes a personal struggle with
other drivers. They get angry. They shout. It's simply the movement
of traffic. No different from the weather or any other movement
life-movement but they personalize it because the "me" strengthened
itself . "Where's my enemy? The enemy's right there. (pause) I
always say beware of driving pain-bodies. What does the driving pain
body want without knowing it? The driving pain body wants something
to go wrong to have more pain. And sooner or later it will. All that
he or she needs is another driving pain body in the vicinity. So our
practice here, Nature, your own room, walking from A to B. Not
making that movement into a means to an end, needing to get there.
Just be there at every step. The next step is not going to be more
important than this one. The arriving is not going to be more
important than this moment. Be there in every step. Walk around the
campus here as a field of aware, alert, alive presence, without
carrying the burden of your story and think about it as you walk. Or
and say, I wonder what's going on in the world? What's in the news?
Not good. It wasn't good last week. It's not good this week. And
when you get home and listen to the news again, it will still be the
same. The news are very selective. The collective mind says this is
important and this is important and this is important. That's the
news. It overlooks a lot.
There's a wonderful person living here on campus. A great artist, he
arranges all these flower arrangements that we see in different
places with leaves and most incredible awareness has gone into that.
I believe his name is Jonathan. If I remember rightly from last
year. Just the most amazing example of beauty that is created
whenever something is being performed in the state of presence and
the love that flows into the doing naturally any doing that arises
out of presence and he can take any objects, a few dead leaves or
dying leaves, a little bit of moss and a little bit of that and puts
it together and its a creation of great beauty.
That is also very helpful to look upon anything that was created out
of that state of consciousness, can reflect that state back to you,
can give you a reflection of that state. Its the essence of art
probably. To give you a reflection of the state out of which it
came. Which shines through the form. Every great work of art is more
than what you see. You can’t really define it through concepts. Its
always more. Something shines through that is not the form. That is
the state of consciousness out of which it came and when you look
upon it rightly, which means in the state of aware presence, it can
strengthen and deepen that state in you. That is the beauty of art.
And probably even relatively unconscious human beings, deep down,
they can sense something when they look at a work of art. And they
may treasure it. It's very deep, they feel something and somehow.
They don't always recognize it. There's probably been great art
that's never been recognized. And in the case of some great artists
they were never recognized in their lifetime. I don't know who,
perhaps it was Van Gogh, who never sold a single painting in his
lifetime. Nobody wanted to... not interested. Nobody was really
looking. Something shines through. And even anything made, a
craftsman makes can also happen. Doesn't have to be a great
painting. Anything that a craftsman has spent along time being
present with. Not a means to an end. Giving attention, the flow of
attention which is awareness, which is presence goes into that. The
object embodies that. It embodies quality in its deepest sense. And
its always an aspect of sacredness to that, always. But whether or
not you make something, only a few of you will be making something
with your hands or whatever way. Presence manifests in so many
different ways. It can also manifest entirely outside the world of
form with just you sitting there listening to someone, not even
saying anything, just being there as spacious presence. One more
thing, here, the little movements, perform little movements and be
present with that. Just little, whatever you might be doing
naturally, when you put on your shoes or your feet move into your
sandals. Or you tie your shoelaces. Usually you would be thinking
about the next thing but why not just be there and there's a
stillness around the action, in which the action happens. Walking
down a few steps or whatever it may be or any habitual action. Don't
make it too long at first. You might get lost in thought. You say
"I'm going to perform making this cup of tea in presence”, might be
too much. Because you have to fill the kettle, to wait for it to
boil, and by then you might be off somewhere. Why not just, while
you stir the cup of tea, something that would be totally
unnoticeable
to you in the normal state of consciousness. Just small actions.
Little bit of honey in the tea if you take honey. And there was a
space of no thought. Just that. Anything that's short, that you do
often. Lighting...no you don't have candles here. You're not
supposed to have candles. Pouring a liquid, water or juice. Little
spaces in your life. And then more and more spaces and then some
spaces come naturally by themselves. And sooner or later you might
find a big space. It all implies getting out of living in that
conceptualized ‘me’ in the head. I suggest stay for a little while
with the empty chair until you find yourself getting up. When you
find yourself getting up, its time to get up. Thank you. (end of
session)
Continue: Part 3 - Tuesday Morning
